my one year old
First, I have to be honest and say what an immense privelage it is to be Eli’s mom. I couldn’t sleep last night, my brain flooded with memories of the last year.
The first few months are a blur of pain, nursing, diapers, and wonderful things - like sleeping together and showering together. His tiny body curled up like a frog, he loves showers. Perfectly peaceful and content with his tiny body molded to mine.
Being a new mom takes over your whole life. It’s literally the hardest and greatest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve never felt so needed and so loved in my whole life. Being able to comfort him with my breast milk was and still is one of my greatest joys. And, on that note, its beyond amazing how fast they grow. I can’t help but shake my head as I watch my 1 year old walk around carrying a remote control saying “dada”. It’s amazing.
He loves toys that are not toys - remote controls, wii remotes, ice cream scoops, tape measures, etc. I learned to let him explore as he became mobile. Leave one drawer unlocked in the kitchen. Let him see your phone once in a while. Let him stand in front of the fridge and check it out. I’m convinced he’s the most wonderful boy in the world. So smart, so beautiful, so funny, and walking!
I wish I wasn’t so sad today, but I can’t help it. Everyone told me, and now I actually understand - It goes by so fast. So fast.
I’ve learned that you can read books and books on being a mom, helping them sleep, curing ailments, etc, but just go with your intuition. Trust yourself. You know what is right. And learning to trust myself is another great blessing that I’ll never let go of. I’m a good mom. I never wanted him to cry himself to sleep, never wanted him to “cry it out”. Cry what out exactly??? You cannot spoil a baby - he’s not a piece of fruit. Anticipate his needs and give freely and you’ll never regret it. I’ve learned that I love rocking and singing him to sleep 3 times a day. I never cared how many hours I’ve spent doing this, It’s the best perk of the job.
And even though, I’ve made mistakes, I apologized quickly to him and made a resolve to be a better mommy. Each day is a gift and an adventure. And now, I’m off to watch his first episode of Sesame Street with him today, the day he turns 1.
